Ostrich feathers

Red ostrich feathers.

No, really.

I had been wondering what to do for Day Five, aka Red Dress Day. It’s problematic. What’s a girl to do in the face of a thousand hot guys in red dresses? There’s no way a woman can out-fabulous a guy in a slinky cocktail dress. Especially if he has better legs than I do!

I had thought about a red leather bikini top and matching red leather tutu, but I don’t really have the upper body to pull that off–would need to drop about 10% bodyfat first.

Then someone on the AIDS Lifecycle discussion forum said, “I LOVED your feather outfit…was it ostrich feathers?”

Well, no. They were PEACOCK feathers, and I’m not quite sure how one mistakes a peacock for an ostrich even at 100 yards away on a moving bicycle, but…hmm…did you mention OSTRICH feathers??

So now I’m envisioning a three-layered ostrich-feather tutu, with alternating red and white layers of feathers. (The white is important to give contrast…if I only had red ostrich feathers you wouldn’t be able to appreciate their *ahem* feather-ness.) I’ve put in a bid for a few ostrich feathers on eBay. We’ll see if I win.

I have also ordered 5 yards of a cheap silk plaid from Angus International in Hong Kong (they win my award for the most amusing catalog I have ever read…well worth shelling out $15 for, along with their swatches). I’m not sure if I’m going to do that tutu-kilt, but if I can only find a set of bagpipes I think I will. I like the idea of bagpipes and bikes. Beware of the bicycling bagpiper!

So now I have a couple of tutu ideas:

champagne/gold silk with velvet collar
red/orange/yellow crazy-quilt
blue/purple/green crazy-quilt
red ostrich feather
Scottish tartan

Still only five days’ worth, which gives me leeway to create two more outfits at least…or, of course, to change my mind and do something else entirely.

At least this year’s outfits seem likely to be considerably more creative than last year’s.

Ostrich feathers. Remember, you heard it here first!!