musings – Page 2

September 22, 2025 by Tien Chiu Leave a Comment

Fritz

We said goodbye to Fritz yesterday.

He’d been battling lymphoma for two years, and finally it was clear that his time with us was ending. That didn’t make it any easier, of course: we loved him immeasurably and his passing has left a huge hole in our hearts.

Fritz was the friendliest and most social cat imaginable. When the doorbell rang, Fritz would run to the door to see who would pet him next. And they always did, because Fritz loved everyone and everyone loved Fritz. I’ve never met a cat as friendly and beloved by all.

Wherever we were in the house, Fritz would come along – sometimes demanding attention and sometimes just content to sit quietly nearby. We were his people, and he wanted to be with us.

He loved attention. Even after lengthy adoration sessions, he’d still be purring, soaking up the love, rolling over on his back to ask for more belly rubs. (Which he got, because we love him and who can resist a fuzzy cat belly?)

He had no sense of feline dignity whatsoever. To paraphase the Bible verse, “For what shall it profit a cat, if he should gain dignity, and lose his belly rubs?” Here he is, asking for a belly rub, floppy paws and all.

Even his flaws were adorable. As a youth, he was a hoodlum where socks were concerned. He’d dig socks out of our laundry and cart them off. (And nothing was as fun as attacking a large pair of socks!)

He made a great laundry topper, too. (Because clean clothing is sadly lacking in cat hair.)

He loved Zoom calls. More people to meet! He would jump up on my wife’s lap during team meetings and walk back and forth, tail-waving hello to the people on camera while collecting his share of pets from my wife.

Fritz also made a cameo at the end of all my webinars. He was much admired, and justifiably so – he was every bit as beautiful as he was friendly. (I’m dreading telling all his adoring fans the sad news.)

He was a born photobomber. As soon as I set up for a photo shoot, he’d dive into the frame.

Photos weren’t the only thing Fritz loved bombing. Show him a birdie and he’d instantly turn into Kung Fu Kitty:

Here he is, licking his lips in anticipation.

Many cats don’t get along with others, but Fritz and Tigress loved each other. They’d cuddle up together, or engage in their favorite Olympic sport – Synchronized Sleeping.

Here are two more of my favorite photos of Fritz.

And here are our first and final pictures of him.

Fritz was with us for exactly twelve years (today would have been our twelfth Cat-Iversary with him). Not nearly long enough for so much love.

Fritz, we’ll miss you.

September 15, 2025 by Tien Chiu Leave a Comment

Crossing the Threshold

I haven’t written much the last few weeks because the chaos has been insane.

However, the house is sold, and we’ve packed and moved all our stuff – a heroic effort. We’re both pack rats and we’d been there for 13 years!

Between the two of us we packed just under 200 moving boxes, gave away 30+ more boxes to Goodwill (the neighbors got plenty too!), and got rid of two BIG dumpsters’ worth of rubbish.

It is said that one learns a lot about oneself while moving, and this is true.

For example, I discovered that I have 28 boxes of yarn, weighing approximately 20 lbs apiece. That’s 560 lbs of yarn! And that’s AFTER selling or giving away another 80-100 lbs. That’s thoroughly embarrassing.

However, I must say….

I also discovered that I own 33 pairs of scissors (!). (Like tribbles, they appear to be born pregnant.)

Here are some of them:

The ones at top left are my favorites. They’re not great for cutting, but they are fascinating – a gift from a Tibetan lama friend, hand-forged in a small town in India.

Below is a better picture of those scissors. You can still see the grinder marks on the handles. Talk about “hand of the maker”!

I also found some “blast from the past” memorabilia. This, for example, comes from my trip to Southeast Asia in 2003. It’s from an adventure I had in Bangkok, where the best body painter in Bangkok agreed to paint me up as a barbarian warrior princess (and I wound up on the front cover of a travel magazine!). We had a photo shoot with various props. I’d completely forgotten about this one!

I also found wedding dress #1. I made this one myself, in 1994. It’s not bad, especially considering how inexperienced I was at the time. The beads have tarnished, but 30 years ago they were bright gold.

Doesn’t hold a candle to wedding dress #2 – but then, neither did the marriage. 😉

On the morning after we cleared out the old house, I returned before dawn for one last round through the house. To my amazement, the sky above the house was glowing a beautiful (and eerie) magenta, even though it was still quite dark. I have never seen anything like that before. Here is a picture – exactly as shot, and completely unenhanced.

This is inspiring a new series that I think I am going to call Pilgrimage. As I’ve currently conceived it (and this will likely change at least 30 times before I finish it, if it even gets finished), it’s a series of four pieces:

Threshold – leaving the everyday normal and launching into the unfamiliar
Wandering – exploring the new world (and maybe getting a bit lost!)
Cocoon – musings on what I’ve learned
The Way Home – settling into a new home and a new “normal”

So far I’m only thinking about the first two pieces. I am really struggling on the format and media – obviously I won’t have the jacquard loom, and probably won’t until the end of my journey, so weaving them on the jacquard loom is probably not viable. And I can’t fit too much equipment into my suitcase.

I’m thinking that the best format is probably tapestry, but I have not done tapestry weaving except for a brief one-month trial, and I wasn’t particularly fond of the process. That was twenty years ago and I might like it better now, so I am planning to put together a simple loom and maybe experiment a bit before leaving.

I have a vague idea that Threshold will start with that picture of the glowing sky over our old house (it really did seem like an omen!) and that the unifying theme across all the pieces will be a glowing magenta thread or path to represent the spiritual journey. The magenta glow will, of course, be handspun with a drop spindle on my morning walks, and will probably incorporate some sparkly stuff.

I haven’t had a chance to think it through any further yet – things have been way too crazy. This past weekend was the first breath of free time I had for over a month – and I spent most of it just catching up on sleep!

I am (hopefully) leaving for Mexico in exactly three weeks, so I don’t have much time to think things through. I think the most important thing to figure out is what tools and materials I should bring with me, and “wing it” later, within the limits of the things I’ve brought along. This is completely unlike my usual working style, so I’m feeling very rushed – and, frankly, pretty uncomfortable with the whole thing.

And that’s GREAT. The whole purpose of this trip is to explore new ways of thinking, doing, and being. This may not produce my best work, but it’ll engage me in a dialogue about my style, process, and beliefs – which is exactly what I am looking for, right now.

July 31, 2025 by Tien Chiu Leave a Comment

San Miguel de Allende (and the finished phoenix scarf!)

Hello from Mexico!

I’m in San Miguel de Allende, a small city known for its architecture, arts scene, and wonderful weather. Not to mention the fantastic views! Here’s a picture of the city from the roof of a local restaurant:

View from Quince Rooftop, in San Miguel de Allende

I love the way the light changes throughout the day. I’ve spent quite a bit of time on the rooftop patio, which has a 270 degree view of the city. Here’s a picture in the early morning:

View from our AirBNB house in San Miguel de Allende

And here’s a picture taken at sunset:

Sunset view from our AirBNB house in San Miguel de Allende

Location-wise, San Miguel de Allende is at the southern end of Mexico’s central plateau, smack dab in the center of Mexico. Here’s a map that shows its approximate location (the little blue dot is San Miguel).

Map showing location of San Miguel de Allende

Despite its southern location, it’s not hot at all. That’s because it’s at an elevation of about 6000 feet, which tempers the heat and makes for nearly perfect weather – about 50-80 F all year round. A lot of foreigners retire here because of the weather; even more “snowbird” here, enjoying the warmer weather in winter and then returning home in the spring.

(As a Bay Area partisan, I think their weather isn’t quite as good as ours, which is similar but with less humidity – but it’s hard to complain about weather this nice.)

The architecture is beautiful, and so are the cobblestone streets:

I’m not sure whether the rainbow flags signify anything, but San Miguel de Allende has a reputation for being LGBTQ friendly, which makes me happy!

I’ve decided to do a retreat here towards the end of the year, and possibly move here permanently. The plan is to spend August packing up the house, September tying up loose ends in the Bay Area, and then spend October through December in San Miguel before deciding whether to live there long-term or go back to the U.S.

Towards that, I did a relocation tour of San Miguel last week, driving through the entire city and getting the skinny on each neighborhood. Then I walked around the city a bit to get a feel for the more interesting neighborhoods. Finally, I picked my two favorites and reserved AirBNBs in both areas.

I’ll be spending October and most of November in a place I’ve nicknamed “Casa Gigante”. It’s a house in the Villa de Los Frailes district, in the far southwest of the city, and it’s just gorgeous. It’s also HUGE: four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a kitchen and a kitchenette, and two dining rooms.

Here’s a pic of the living room:

Pix of “Casa Gigante” in San Miguel de Allende

I love the arched brick ceiling. I have seen this in a few homes to date, so I’m guessing it’s pretty common here.

Here’s a better picture of the ceiling:

(As a Californian accustomed to earthquakes, brick ceilings make me nervous, but I’m told earthquakes are uncommon here, so it’s unlikely that the ceiling will land on me like, well, a ton of bricks.)

Check out all the photos of Casa Gigante in the AirBNB listing here.

I don’t know what I’ll do with all that space in Casa Gigante, but I will definitely enjoy it! And I have already invited any interested friends to come visit.

After that I’ll go to Casa Luiguy, which is right next door to Los Frailes, in the La Lejona district. It’s a lovely 2-bedroom house in blues and yellows (you can see all the photos here).

Pic of Casa Luiguy in San Miguel de Allende

Pic of bedroom in Casa Luiguy in San Miguel de Allende

Casa Luiguy is just down the street from La Comer and City Market, the two big supermarkets/megastores in town. City Market is Whole Foods on steroids, full of imported gringo foods as well as the usual supermarket stuff. While I plan on doing most of my shopping in local shops, it’s nice to know there’s a place in town with an entire wall of gourmet olive oils, my favorite U.S. brands of yogurt, and so forth. They also sell appliances, clothes, and other household items.

I’m considering a house in the Azteca district as well, which is close to the heart of the city. It is less suburban than Los Frailes or La Lejona, but it’s also right next door to the gym I plan to use for my powerlifting training. Condicion Sana has squat and deadlift platforms and a bench press setup, which excites me no end! Powerlifting is not terribly popular in Mexico, so finding a gym with the right equipment is not easy. I had been expecting to have to set up a home gym, but this is far better.

I picked San Miguel de Allende because it has great weather and a lot of English speakers. (Roughly 8% of the town is either expat or immigrants, mostly from the U.S. and Canada, and there are even more English-speaking tourists).

Because I don’t speak more than a few words of Spanish, it’s really helpful that many of the locals speak English and/or are accustomed to dealing with people who don’t speak Spanish. (I plan to learn Spanish, but until then it’ll be helpful to be able to supplement with English to get around.)

After a week of bureaucratic delays, C. and I have our temporary resident cards, which is exciting – means we can stay in Mexico for up to a year, open a bank account, etc. In a year I can renew the resident card for three years, and then after the fourth year I can ask for permanent residency. Super cool.

I don’t know yet if I want to move here permanently. My main reason for doing a retreat/trial run here in the fall is to do a life “reset” – to give myself time to cocoon and figure out what the next phase of my life will be like. If I stayed in San Jose, I’d have to battle the temptation just to keep on exactly as before. Here, though, the difference in surroundings and new location will help me shake things up a bit. I may yet return to California, but if I do, it will be a conscious choice and not just the default option.

I brought the phoenix scarf along and finished the beaded fringe on the trip! Here are pictures of the scarf and of the fringe. I really like it.

What’s next, creatively speaking? As with virtually everything else in my life, I don’t know. I do know one thing: like everything else, it’ll be an adventure.

June 13, 2025 by Tien Chiu Leave a Comment

Delicious and bittersweet

Yesterday was our fifteenth (and last) wedding anniversary. We celebrated it by going to Tamarine, a wonderful Vietnamese fusion restaurant in Palo Alto.

The food was amazing, and as a craftsperson I was fascinated by this ice cube, frozen with their logo:

The company was wonderful too. Here we are, back home afterwards.

It’s hard to imagine that we’ve been married for 15 years, and together nearly 20 years. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, but it also feels like forever. We have shaped each other over the last two decades! It’s hard to imagine life as a single person again.

We are both sad to be parting ways, even though we know it’s the right thing and we’re both looking forward to our future lives.

I’ve been saying bittersweet goodbyes to other things as well. We’re moving and selling our house, which means giving up the garden. We planted eleven fruit trees when we bought the house. I remember when they were tiny saplings, and now they’re full-grown trees. (One of the avocado trees is over twenty feet high!) And they produce delicious fruit all year long.

Last month was blueberries, the first fruits of spring:

This month it’s apriums (apricot plum hybrid) and mulberries:

Next month we’ll be bombarded with Santa Rosa plums, my very favorite plum variety – sweet, tart, and luscious. As one farmer told me, “If you don’t like Santa Rosas, you don’t like plums!”

The plums carry us into tomato season:

In early fall, it would have been Concord grapes, like these:

…but we just took out the grapes in favor of a passion fruit vine and a white guava tree. I am sad we’ll miss those!

In late fall, it’s Meyer lemons. These are a cross between a lemon and a mandarin – sweeter and fruitier than normal lemons, with a thin, incredibly fragrant skin.

We also get two kinds of persimmons – Fuyu (the flat ones) and Hachiya (the slurpy ones).

Then in the winter, the avocados, kumquat, yuzu, and bergamot provide for us.

And that brings us back to spring and blueberries!

Finally, we planted roses lining the entire front yard, all selected for fragrance as well as beauty. They are wonderful – when I pick a bouquet you can smell them all the way across the room. I’ve had complete strangers come up to me and thank us for planting the roses, because everyone enjoys them so much.

Here are the rosebushes along the driveway – there are lots more along the sidewalk.

And lilacs, and irises….

It will be hard to leave all that behind. It’s not just a garden; it’s something we’ve tended lovingly for a long time, and which has rewarded us in return. Much like our relationship.

But all things come to an end. D doesn’t want to stay here and I can’t afford to buy her out, so we’re selling the house and moving.

There will be other gardens, and perhaps other relationships, in our future, of course. This is not really the end. But this entire summer is a delicious and bittersweet goodbye.

May 31, 2025 by Tien Chiu 7 Comments

Try to love the questions themselves

I’ve run into a snag on the phoenix project. I started predrafting my fiber to loosen it up and also to allow me to spin directly from the end of the roving. However, the change in fiber prep method has also changed the diameter of my “default” yarn. Instead of 7,000 yards per pound as it was before, it’s now averaging almost 10,000 yards per pound. That’s about 30% thinner than it was! That will definitely be a problem for my scarf design.

Here’s a picture of my three skeins so far:

Skein 1 (the dark brown one) was spun using my earlier method (spinning off the fold), and is 7100 yards per pound.

Skeins 2 and 3 (top two) were spun using the second approach (predrafting fiber and then spinning off the end), and average about 10,000 yards per pound.

This makes nice hash out of all my calculations. At this point there are two things I could do:

(1) spend some time figuring out how to spin a consistent 7,000 ypp yarn, then start over

(2) keep going, and accept that the yarn is going to be much finer than anticipated (and possibly different diameter from skein to skein).

I’m thinking that I will just keep going.

This is a bit of a departure for me. Usually I start with a vision, then plan and execute a project around the vision. Lots of side trips and changes along the way, but I always keep the vision in mind. I also like to keep tight technical control over my work.

But this project is a phoenix project, meaning it isn’t about achieving a goal. In fact, it is very specifically NOT about achieving a goal. It’s about letting go of all the old goals, ideas, and relationships, opening up to possibility, and eventually discovering new things (and a new life!) to replace what went before.

So I think I’m going to do something very out of character: embrace process over product, and simply spin up the rest of the yarn without worrying about what it will become. I’ll play with some ideas, sure, but until I have a better idea of what is coming down the pike, there’s no point in planning too far ahead. So I’m just going to enjoy spinning for however long it takes to spin all four ounces. At that point the future will be less murky and I can decide what comes next.

This meandering matches my plans for my future. I have no idea where I’m going to live six months from now. In fact, I am working very hard at NOT figuring out where I’m going to live six months from now. This is extremely uncomfortable for me, because I am the sort of person who likes to have everything decided. I was a professional project manager – being decisive was my job for twenty years.

But I want to hold open space to rediscover things, to allow Future Me to have possibilities and choices that are different from what Past and Present Me would choose. So I am going to shake things up by resolutely refusing to commit Future Me to anything right now. It is rare that life gives us a chance to do a complete reset. I have had that privilege a few times, and I don’t want to waste that opportunity now.

This reminds me of one of my favorite quotations:

“You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart, and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.

Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

– Rainier Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet, Stephen Mitchell translation

So with the phoenix, I am planning to sit with the project now. Walk and spin for forty days, or however long it takes. See what it wants to become.

I think there will be lots of potential, though. Here are the color gradients in the most recent two skeins. Beautiful, and full of becoming.