Yesterday after work I ran out and hand-painted the 140/2 silk warp. Or tried to. I made two critical errors: first, I had planned the painting in the wrong direction (beginning from the front of the warp rather than the back), and second, I decided to plow on with the dyeing even though I knew I’d gotten the planning wrong.
The end result was tangles and broken threads in the 140/2 silk warp. Plus I came up a half-yard short. I’m chalking it up to experience and winding a new warp today.
The other thing I realized is that I’m far more affected by grief than I thought. I didn’t know this extended family member particularly well (only met her a few times), but the shock has really reverberated through the entire family. And, of course, sudden death striking someone you know is shocking regardless.
Between that and work stress, my patience, judgment, and emotional stability really aren’t at my normal levels right now. I need to recharge, before matters get any worse. So I’ve canceled all my social engagements (including a guild meeting I really, really wanted to go to – sigh) and plan to spend the weekend recharging. I may work on Phoenix Rising. And I may not.
I do need to work on the book, though. I’m down to only about a week’s worth of prewritten posts, which is making me nervous (especially since I fly out for the memorial service on Thursday). I’ve been working on the next chapter for two days now, and while it’s starting to take shape, it’s progressing considerably slower than I had anticipated. The good news is that I have the outline/summary done, and I think I’ve put a finger on what was bothering me about the style and tone. I still need to rework the content, but I have a better understanding of what I need to write, so I can finally start writing the actual posts. (Book writing is hard!)
Off to write in my journal. Maybe I can work some of this stuff out.
Sorry to hear about your loss. You are amazingly energetic and ambitious in what you strive to achieve. It’s great that you are taking a breath – you are allowed. You have shown – through your work, your blog, your commitments that you are hard-working, smart and strong. Now you are right to be compassionate with yourself. I imagine that a little time after all you’ve done lately (of coure I don’t know you – just your blog, etc. ) but the move, the study group, CW, chocolate . . . . . . will serve your creativity and all your endeavors well! Good luck and good wishes from the East Coast!
Yes, a death like that is very disconcerting and brings us up short. You are one amazing person and I learn a lot from your blogs and read all your journal entries. I hope this weekend will re-energize you. The best to you.
hope you were able to rest up and recharge this weekend…