I finally finished my piece on living with bipolar disorder (a social worker asked me about three weeks ago for an autobiographical essay in bipolar disorder, wanting to share it with his patients). I’ve posted it on my website here. (I should warn you that it’s fairly intense, so have your morning coffee first.)
I thought long and hard about posting it to my website, because it’s something that a potential employer (say) might stumble upon. But I just don’t think that staying silent on the subject is an option. I ride AIDS Lifecycle in part to bring attention to HIV and AIDS, and to help dispel the stigma of AIDS. It’s just not consistent to ride to remove the stigma of one disease while keeping quiet about something closer to home. I have great admiration for the Positive Pedalers – a group of HIV+ riders who openly identify themselves as being HIV+, to fight the stigma and put a human face on the disease, and so I’ve chosen to stand with them and put at least one public face on bipolar disorder.
In other news, I am weaving like a maniac trying to get this latest shawl done before we leave tomorrow morning, so I can finish it (hemstitching, twisting fringe) on the plane. I am armed with sock yarn/needles, weaving software, six John Varley novels, and a partridge in a pear tree. I may have some free time on this trip, and it would be dreadful to be bored. 🙂
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Hi Tien,
We all have challenges that we dealwith, more or less successfully. I believe that if we know the challenges that another person is facing, we know them at a deeper level which brings understanding.
I have known two people with bi-polar. One gave up and the other continues to deal with it. Modern medicine now has ways and means of treating bi-polar. I am so glad you found a chemical cocktail that works for you. 😀
Thank y0u for sharing your challenge.
Cheers!
Laura
Hello, Tien. I remember you from Robert Brown’s Tai Chi school ten years ago. I very much admire your decision to go public with your revelations regarding your bipolar disorder, despite your concern over what potential employers chancing upon the information might think. I, too, suffer from depression — intractable depression that no medication thus far has alleviated even slightly. Moreover, several years ago, I was forced to endure the nightmare of watching my mother deteriorate, and finally die, from dementia, all the while doing my best to ensure that she received proper care. That experience completely broke me mentally and physically, and I have not and probably never will recover from it. Like you, I have written of my experiences in dealing with the nightmare of my mother’s illness, and how it exacerbated my depression in frightening ways. In my case, my writing evolved into a 500+ page book that is due out early next year. Like you, I was initially concerned over what a potential employer would think after reading my book — specifically, that I was a nutcase. But I ultimately decided that I don’t give a damn what a prospective employer would think after reading my book. I believe that what I have to say is worth far more than my potentially losing out on being hired for a job. I feel that a book written from the perspective of both a caregiver and a mentally ill individual could prove valuable. I’m hoping that my book will lead to better support services both for the mentally ill and for caregivers of terminally ill loved ones. Again, I applaud your decision to go public with your condition; and I truly hope that medical advances will ultimately lead to CURES for us both.
Warmest wishes and Merry Christmas,
Rick
Thank you for sharing that essay. I’d seen many of the pieces from the sidelines as they happened, but reading the full narrative helps me to put the last few pieces together (that’s why you went to Hungary? Eep!). I’m glad you found your cure and that you’re still around to enjoy your own life and enrich the lives of the people who know you.
Thank you for sharing this, TIen. I must confess I had wondered about your intense bouts of energy. Wondered not so much about them but wondered about what happened when you dropped, how far you dropped. I am so glad to learn that there is medication to control it but that still leaves you the energy to do the work you love. Enjoy the holidays. Oh, and I know exactly what you mean about fear of having nothing to do. The idea of having to sit somewhere, just sit, having no knitting or other fiber work, throws real terror into my soul! I love to read, but I can read only for 30 minutes to an hour at a time. So on a trip I always, like you, take more than I could possibly accomplish during the allotted time.
Thanks- an excellent essay.