Tien Chiu

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October 28, 2022 by Tien Chiu 10 Comments

Celebrating the power of community

I’ve been thinking lately about the importance of community, and particularly about how you define and choose your personal communities. Because the people you surround yourself with – their values, achievements, and interests – are the people who will define, inspire, and constrain your own expectations and behavior. Choosing the right community will free you to fly. Choosing the wrong community will be stifling at best, and potentially toxic.

For example, by virtually any standard, I’m pretty darn strong right now. (Last week I deadlifted 1,260 weasels (315 pounds). That’s a lot of weight.

However, Boss Barbell, where I lift, isn’t just any gym – it’s a powerlifting gym. In fact, it’s the biggest and best powerlifting gym in the Bay Area, and run by a renowned powerlifter. So if you’re a serious powerlifter, it’s where you go to work out.

As a result, “normal strength” in this gym is….a little skewed, shall we say? My heaviest lifts are more like warmup weights for many of the people in this gym. When I was doing my 315-pound lift, the guy next to me was doing nearly 500!

This creates a context in which 315 pounds looks, well, completely wimpy.

“But,” you say, “This is completely ludicrous! These people are elite powerlifters; they’ve been training much longer than you have; 90% of them are men who are two or three decades younger than you – of COURSE they’re going to be stronger! Don’t compare yourself to them!”

And that’s exactly what I mean by choosing your community wisely. Were I to take these elite, younger male lifters as my community – especially since some of them don’t consider me a good enough lifter to be taken seriously – it would be easy to get neurotic about my comparative lack of achievement. But I’m smart enough not to consider them my community, or to try joining their community. Doing that would park me as a permanent outsider and also at the bottom of the ladder. I made that mistake once, as a young woman in mathematics, and I’m not about to do that again.

This sense of dislocation and inadequacy is exactly what some of my students experience when they come into my classes and see beautiful work being posted by others who have been weaving intensively for a long time or who have art training (etc.). I regularly tell my students two things:

First, everyone is on their own creative journey, with their own creative goals. It really doesn’t matter where someone else is in their creative journey; what matters is your goals and how you are going to achieve them.

“What do you like in your work? What can you make better? How will you make it better? And how can I enjoy it more?” Those are the only questions that should concern you as an artist. “Am I a good artist?” is noticeably absent from the list.

Second, you have your own unique artistic voice, which is born out of your experience, skills, interests, and preferences. Which means that comparing your work to X’s to see whether X is a better artist than you are is just silly. You are different people and you speak with different voices. You can take inspirational elements from X’s work and incorporate them into your artistic vocabulary (though, please don’t imitate or copy!), but fundamentally wondering whether X’s work is better than yours is comparing apples to bicycles. It’s a great way to become neurotic without gaining much.

Having said that, of course it’s difficult to do your work entirely in a vacuum, and if you are the only person in the gym pulling 315 pounds when the ten other people there are pulling 400-500, it’s hard not to feel wimpy and out of place. (And a little frustrated at not being stronger…yet.)

There are two keys to persevering in these circumstances. The first is simply my first piece of advice to students, to remember that you are on your own journey, and that where they are in their journeys is irrelevant to your goals. The guy next to me may be looking to crack an 800-pound deadlift, but that’s his goal. Mine is to break the world record for 50-54 year old women in the 185-pound weight class, and that only requires a 370-pound squat, 415-pound deadlift, and something-or-other in bench press that I probably won’t achieve (bench press is my weakest lift right now).

Staying focused on your own goals lets you ignore the distracting shadows and focus on the target.

The second key, which I think is just as important, is to choose the right community, one that shares your values, where people welcome, appreciate, and encourage you, and you don’t feel out of place. It doesn’t have to be the dominant group in the community at large – but having even a few people who share your interests and values can easily make the difference between success and failure.

That’s true in anything – not just weightlifting or weaving – and is why, when attempting something difficult, I always start by reaching out to others for help. It’s not just about getting the help – though that’s important as well – but also about building a small community I can belong to.

As an entrepreneur, I always formed a small “mastermind” of a couple people who would meet regularly to talk about our businesses – a mini community where we could all support each other. As a weaver, I joined mailing lists and guilds and participated actively in both. And as a powerlifter, I’ve found a few people who lift like me and share my values as well. Not many, but enough. My community – at least for the moment – is more serious recreational lifters, women who lift, and elite lifters who encourage rather than exclude recreational lifters.

They say “It takes a village,” and I think that’s very true.

Ending with two videos that celebrate the power of community: my 315-pound deadlift from last week, and another video of me doing “pause deadlifts” – stopping and pausing halfway up. I was doing those with a 200-pound bar, and managed (at the end of the set) to pause for 10 seconds and still get it the rest of the way up!

(And not to worry – I’m careful about my form, and I have a top-notch coach who knows when to push me and when not to. I also wear a weightlifting belt, which helps protect my back.)

Happy lifting – in whatever you do! May you find happiness in a community of your own.

photo of Tien at gym

Filed Under: powerlifting, All blog posts, musings

September 3, 2022 by Tien Chiu 1 Comment

Time for a blog reboot

It’s been some years since I posted to this blog with any regularity. During most of this time, I’ve been completely consumed with the teaching business. (Making a career change is hard. Starting a business is very hard. Combining the two – all I can say is, it’s been an insane six years and I’m very grateful that I inherited my mother’s inexhaustible energy and iron will. Thanks, Ma!)

But I’ve also been torn about posting to the blog for other reasons.

For one thing, there has been very little fiber stuff going on that hasn’t been directly related to the teaching business. That’s partly because there hasn’t been much going on, period, that hasn’t been directly related to the business (working 60-70 hours/week leaves very little time for anything else). But it’s also because when you’re living, thinking, and breathing weaving for work all your waking hours, the last thing you want to do with the extra hour or so you have left is…more weaving.

So why not write about the business-related fiber stuff? Well, basically because I am fiercely committed to keeping this blog non-commercial. This blog has always been about my personal creative life and thoughts, and I feel strongly that this is incompatible with writing about the business side. It’s too easy to slide into marketing or teaching stuff and I emphatically feel that this blog should be about neither.

Having said that, there are still adventures and interesting thoughts to share, and I plan to start sharing them again, since I have a trifle more free time and mental bandwidth than I have had over the last five years. (I am through the HUGE learning curve on figuring out teaching, marketing, and running a business, and while launching the Handweaving Academy is a huge amount of work, I have a business partner and a small but intrepid team to help, so I don’t have to do everything by myself now. Thank goodness!) But I want to give fair warning: while I hope you’ll find it of interest, there will likely be less weaving content than there historically has been. More about powerlifting (a style of weightlifting, and my new passion), philosophy, good food, and (of course) cats.

Onward!

Filed Under: All blog posts, musings

June 24, 2022 by Tien Chiu

“The Girl with the Phoenix Tattoo”

Silly people, naming the movie after a dragon tattoo….

Tien with a phoenix tattoo

You may recall that, back in September, I decided to get a tattoo to celebrate all the life changes over the last six years. It was going to be from a very talented South Korean artist, who would have been visiting the U.S. in November. I say “would have” because, alas, it didn’t pan out. He got stopped at the border and was abruptly deported back to South Korea (I don’t know why).

Cue panic for awhile, as I searched for an artist who could capture my idea. It really wasn’t easy. Tattoo art, like all art, comes in lots of different styles, but the only style I found that really captured the dynamic feel I wanted in my phoenix was Korean blackwork, which, not too surprisingly, is practiced primarily by tattoo artists in….Korea!

After briefly considering a trip to Korea (which shows you how obsessive and/or desperate I was), I stumbled upon an absolutely fantastic artist, Cache, who works at Black Serum Tattoo in San Francisco. Her work was exactly what I had been looking for – bold, clean, gorgeous, and with a sense of flowing movement that very few tattoo artists capture in her work.

Of course, great tattoo artists, like other great artists, book up fast. I wound up waiting almost three months for her to open up her appointment book for new tattoo bookings. When the booking form opened on her website, I leaped in instantly to put in my application – and it’s a good thing I’d written up my entire application in advance, because there were only 100 application slots available and they were gone in less than nine minutes. (She is good!)

I was delighted when she wrote me three days later to let me know that she’d accepted my tattoo application. I’d have to wait two more months, but I was going to get my tattoo!!

So I waited, patiently-impatiently, for May 31, which will henceforth be known as “Tattoo Day”.

Here’s how the process went.

First, she drew the design to custom-fit my arm, and sent the artwork to me the day before the appointment. I suggested some changes, and she did the edits.

On Tattoo Day, she printed out the design at various sizes, and taped the prints to my arm so I could decide what size I wanted her to make it:

Tien with tattoo image taped to her arm

The process could best be described as: “No, bigger.” “No, bigger.” “A bit bigger?” “No, even bigger than that.” “AHA! Yes, THAT BIG.”

Next step was to print it on paper in special purple stencil ink. It looked just like ink from purple ditto masters from grade school. Which I didn’t tell Cache about, because it would have dated me. (I’m pretty sure she was young enough that “ditto masters” would have earned a politely blank stare.)

A little transfer goo onto my arm, smooth the paper with the stencil ink onto my arm, wait a few seconds, and presto! Purple phoenix on my arm.

purple phoenix stencil ready for tattooing

Last chance to change your mind!

No second thoughts?

Okay! Get in the tattoo chair, and let’s get this party going!!

Half an hour later:

After half an hour of tattooing - the bottom half of the phoenix outlined.

Getting a tattoo on my outer arm, as it turned out, wasn’t terribly painful – about on par with having the dentist poking at your gums while cleaning your teeth – but it was still uncomfortable enough that I decided to take a break every half-hour or so. So here is the every half-hour “stop-motion video” of the tattoo being drawn.

After a bit over an hour of tattooing:

phoenix tattoo fully outlined in black
fully outlined in black

After almost two hours of tattoo time:

fully outlined and the bottom of the black portion filled in

After two and a half hours of tattooing:

black parts of phoenix mostly done

After three hours:

black parts of phoenix tattoo finished, red parts partially filled in

The artist at work:

Cache tattooing my arm
Cache working on my arm

And, after almost four hours of tattooing time (five and a half hours in the shop), the finished work:

finished phoenix tattoo

And the fully healed tattoo, three and a half weeks later:

To say I couldn’t be happier would be a massive understatement. I LOVE this tattoo. It symbolizes and sums up so many of the changes in my life over the last decade. I’ll wear it proudly for the rest of my life.

Filed Under: All blog posts, musings

September 25, 2021 by Tien Chiu

Rites of passage

Not quite six years ago, I decided to walk away from my old life.

I realized that my twenty-year career managing software projects, while lucrative, was not fulfilling. Actually, let me be blunt: it was crushing my soul.

I was fortunate enough to have enough money to make a career transition, and to take some time to decide what to do next.

Of course, figuring out what to do next wasn’t going to be easy. As I wrote in my blog post “Chrysalis”, announcing my decision,

What to do next? That’s more complicated. I’d love to work in the craft arena, because that’s where my heart is. However, creative pursuits, particularly craftwork, are notoriously underpaid. And the San Francisco Bay Area is one of the most expensive places to live. That means I need to earn enough to pay my share of a Silicon Valley mortgage, since we have no intentions of moving. That makes it unlikely that I’ll be able to make my entire living from working in craft or craft publishing.

Well. You know what happened next. After six years of working my ass off, working harder than I’d ever done before in my life, I’ve arrived at a point where I can, in fact, pay my half of the mortgage, working as a weaving teacher. This is what I had dreamed I might be able to do, but not expected – how could anyone possibly expect that? – and, well, here I am.

And now Janet Dawson and I are on our way to fulfilling another of my dreams – founding an online weaving academy, where weavers who want to learn how to weave better, and to design their own work, can do just that, in a supportive community of teachers and weavers. I won’t go deep into our plans, but let’s just say that this is what I desperately wanted when I was a beginning weaver, and we are carefully designing and planning a school that we think will be a huge benefit for the weaving community, in addition to being a decades-long career for both of us.

At this point I feel like I have finally made the transition from software project manager to full-time weaving teacher/entrepreneur. The door is finally closed on the previous chapter of my life, and I’m starting a new one.

So it’s time for a rite of passage.

This one’s a curious one. I had never really thought about the prospect until a few months ago – it was always “something for other people”.

Then, sometime in June, I thought, “It’s time. I want a tattoo. A phoenix, rising from its ashes.”

The phoenix, of course, has been my unofficial personal symbol for quite some time. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve had to reinvent myself, either because of the bipolar disorder or because of some other disaster or sea change in my life. But after weaving a phoenix for my mother’s passing, and rebirthing myself out of the ashes of a previous career, I feel like it’s something that connects me to my personal power, and to the spirit of powerful change. There’s a lot of that going on in my life right now, so I want something permanent to mark that passage.

It’s not that different from the scarification that used to happen with manhood rites, except that in this case it’s something I’m doing for personal, not tribal, significance.

I’m going to put it on my right upper arm – I’m right-handed, so that’s a place that feels powerful to me, and it’s also a good place to put a tattoo to keep it protected from sun and chafing, which will help keep it from fading. I can also decide whether I want to show it or not.

The artist I’ve chosen to have do the tattoo is Tadi, a Korean artist who’ll be visiting San Francisco as a guest artist for three months. Here are two examples of his work on Instagram, which will give you an idea of his style:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CRL1bQBLiF7/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUNRO8xJqF0/

And the inspirational photo I sent him, which is about the size and pose that I’m thinking of, is this one:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ART (@ll3.tattoo)

Tadi will be drawing a custom design for me, of course, and we’ll be finalizing the details a day or two before my tattoo appointment. That’s November 30 – a week and a bit after I finish teaching Gorgeous Gradients.

Frequently Asked Questions

Aren’t you worried you might regret this later?

Kiddo, there ain’t much I’ve done in the last six years that I might NOT have had serious reason to regret. Starting with walking away from a job that paid comfortably into six figures for a VERY uncertain and unproven financial life as a weaving teacher. Also, deciding to stay married when my wife came out as transgender three years ago, despite being a heterosexual woman who thought she’d married a man. Also, deciding to change from the solo weaving career to starting a weaving academy. Also, see my entire past history.

I’m not an irrational risk-taker, but the whole point of this tattoo is to celebrate the culmination of a high-risk move that, with a ton of very hard, very carefully thought-out work, has proved tremendously rewarding. There are reasons that I might decide against it, but concerns about future regrets aren’t one of them.

But tattoos fade. Aren’t you worried that it’s going to look ugly in 30 years?

Well, first, I’m 51. I’m not interested in winning beauty contests now (though I am tempted to enter powerlifting contests – I’d be third in the state of California for my age group if I did!), and 30 years from now, I’ll be 81 and (I hope) even less vain about my appearance.

Second, I did think things through, and did some research. Of all the tattoo colors, black fades the least. Fine lines, such as Tadi uses, do eventually fade away (we’re talking 15-20 years though), but they can also be retouched by another tattoo artist, so I’m not worried about that. The fine lines will also spread and fuzz out slightly, but since the lines are mostly used to create shading, again, not a big issue. Finally, how much abrasion, sun, wind, etc. the skin gets has a big effect on the longevity of the tattoo. So my choice of the upper arm is great – it’s a well protected area and doesn’t rub against clothing much.

And, if all else fails, black is also the most easily removed color for laser tattoo removal.

Aren’t tattoos just a flash-in-the-pan trendy thing?

According to Ipsos, 30% of Americans have at least one tattoo, so apparently I’m not particularly hip and trendy by getting one. (Sigh.)

What do the cats think of your getting a tattoo?

Hey babe, keep handing over those cat treats and you can do whatever the heck you want with the rest of your time!

Filed Under: All blog posts, musings Tagged With: tattoo

September 22, 2021 by Tien Chiu

Cat-iversary!

Today is a day of celebration! Huge congratulations to Tigress and Fritz, who exactly eight years ago came home from their first successful hunt. And what a hunt it was! They “bagged” not just one, but TWO humans to adore, worship, and serve them for the rest of their lives.

Here are the mighty hunters the evening they arrived:

Fritz and Tigress as kittens

And here they are a few days ago, snuggled up together:

Fritz and Tigress snuggling
Snuggly cats!

Fritz still loves his belly rubs:

Fritz flopped over demanding a belly rub
Belly rubs are therapeutic!

And Tigress still likes to sleep at the top of shelves. (It’s nice to have friends in high places!)

She’s very Zen, so perhaps she’s engaged in sectarian dialogue with HH the Dalai Lama while she naps?

Tigress sleeping on a shelf above a postcard of the Dalai Lama
Tigress the Zen kitty

As a spiritual master, Tigress would be the first to tell you that if you love something, you must let it go free. If you don’t, how could you chase and kill it again???

Tigress hunting a feather toy
Tigress hunting

Yes, it’s been eight wonderful years. Eight years of being sat on, meowed at, mercilessly ordered to hand out the cat treats, and subjected to arbitrary demands from a tyrannical and utterly marvelous pair of cats. Here’s to many more years of “supervision” from our wonderful cats, Fritz and Tigress!

Fritz and Tigress providing supervision for some quill-winding

Filed Under: All blog posts, musings Tagged With: cats

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