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You are here: Home / All blog posts / Letting go
Previous post: Heartbroken
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October 13, 2010 by Tien Chiu

Letting go

We got more bad news from the vet yesterday: Sweetheart’s tumor is a carcinoma, which does not respond to chemotherapy.  The vet told me as gently as he could that her life expectancy was a few weeks at best.

Sweetheart seems to have made her own decision, however, as she has stopped eating or drinking, and sleeps most of the time, though she is still lucid and affectionate when awake.  We think it will only be a few more days.  So we’ve made an appointment at the vet for her on Friday, and we hope she’ll be comfortable until then.  That still gives us a day or two to cuddle up to her and let her know we love her, before she leaves us.

I’ve cried so much in the last three days that I feel like I have permanent red eyeliner, but I feel like I’m starting to come out on the other side.  Sweetheart and I spent a long time bonding in a petting session during one of her more wakeful times, which helped a lot: she’s still there and loves me, even though she’s dying, and she knows I love her.  That’s all I can do for her right now, and all she can do for me.

This has all been such a shock: five days ago she seemed healthy, and now she’s at death’s door.  It just underscores how precious the moments are.   I’m glad I spent as much time as I did (as much time as I could) with her when she was healthy.  She was a much-loved, much-petted, and thoroughly adored cat, and she loved me with all her heart.  I wouldn’t change a thing, as heartbroken as I feel.  But it is making me appreciate how fragile life is, once again.

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Filed Under: All blog posts, musings Tagged With: sweetheart

Previous post: Heartbroken
Next post: Goodbyes

Comments

  1. Laura says

    October 13, 2010 at 8:57 pm

    virtual hugs………

    Laura

  2. Cynthia Teague says

    October 14, 2010 at 6:25 am

    Oh, so sad. But it my experience (four times) that’s pretty much how it goes with cats — they seem to be in good health, maybe looking a little older, and then, WHAM, they are dreadfully close to death.

    I’m glad you have these days to say goodbye.

  3. Amy says

    October 14, 2010 at 11:13 am

    I’m so, so sorry, Tien. It’s one of life’s great tragedies that our furry ones live such (relatively) short lives. Wishing you both peace.

  4. terri says

    October 14, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    so sorry it’s more bad news…glad you have this time to spend with sweetheart…

  5. Blueloom says

    October 15, 2010 at 5:29 am

    There is one last thing you can do for Sweetheart. You can hold her while the vet administers the injection. I have done this for a pet, and it’s one of the tougher things a human can do. But it’s something we owe our pets for their years of devotion: being held by familiar, loving arms at the time of death.

    My condolences on the loss of your beloved companion Sweetheart.

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